What to do if you partner isn’t as tidy as you would like!

One of the themes that almost returned to everyone is THE PARTNER. Because, how do you deal with that dear partner who thinks totally differently about a tidy life than you do? Food for thought in any case! But, I would like to make an attempt here to help you get started. Here it goes:

STEP 1 – DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE HIM / HER

It is an illusion to think that you can change your partner. Whether it is to put his socks in the laundry basket more often or throw away their newspapers if they have been read. Everyone is his own person and please do not try, after reading this blog, to change him / her. So, that is actually the first step: accept that your partner can not change because you want to. But do it out of you own desire to clean up. And take into account that you do not do this for your partner, but for yourself.

STEP 2 – FOLLOW BY EXAMPLE

But, what can you do? For starters, you can set a good example yourself, which you would like to see with your partner. It is a very small step, but a very important one. With a little bit of luck you inspire him / her to follow your example and the need for change comes from his / herself. My experience is that it often happens here: at this moment you see that partners suddenly see and discover that they also want to be organized. Because, living a tidy life is contagious: it gives so much space and peace :-).

STEP 3 – STAY POSITIVE

Furthermore, it is of course important to make it negotiable. And I do not mean in the category; “Clean up your coffee cup!” But, try to do it in a way that is positive and based on the experience of your partner, where you keep thinking in solutions. Where you want to be respectful for his / her wishes and feelings. Think about how it can work for you partner. Maybe that cup of coffee is there for a reason.

STEP 4 – WORK TOGETHER

And so you come to the core and together you find a solution. Because, that is the secret behind a tidy household. You have to do it together. Perhaps it is possible, for example, to make a dedicated area in the house, only for him. There it does not have to be tidy. But, in the common areas, you agree that you want to keep it both organized. Or agree on a fixed moment every day, that you make a ten moment round together.

But, the most important thing is that you should not be frustrated by it. You want a tidy home (which I understand), but accept that your partner may not find it so important (yet) and do not count it on him / her. Make sure that your home really feels like a home, for both of you.

Good luck and have fun doing so! Ciao,

Eva.

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